The Field Guide to Good Grandparenting

Everything I know about being a grandparent came from observing two of the best in their natural habitat. My mother and daddy loved being grandparents, to the point of barely acknowledging their own children once those children produced off-spring. They cooed and baby-talked and cuddled and kissed the wee ones, read to and over-fed the toddlers, and spoiled rotten the children/teens/young adults from there on out. 

I studied their grandparenting skills as one would study animals in the wild because the experience I had with my own grandparents was not at all what my daughter experienced with Mother and Daddy. I’m guessing it was a generational thing.

For whatever reason my grandparents weren’t very touchy-feely. I loved them, and they loved me (I assume), but I don’t remember spending much, if any, time alone with them. They lived elsewhere, and the rest of the family were always around. Some hugging, maybe a kiss on the cheek, a little small talk, then back to the business at hand – cooking, adult-talking, farm chores, whatever. We could tag along or not, but none of this centered on us.

My parents, however, had a completely different relationship with their grandchildren. We all lived within a half-hour’s driving distance and could foster up-close-and-personal relationships between grandkids and grandparents. Lots of visits. Lots of overnight visits, even when the kids were very small. Special events. Not-so-special events. Chill-out time. Always filled with many, many hugs, kisses, and cuddles. They knew their voices and temperaments. They were comfortable with each other.

I mean, just look at that picture. Grandpa reading to a lap-full of his little grandchildren. They're all settled in, paying attention, feeling the love.

Both Daddy and Mother pulled out all the love-stops where their grandchildren were concerned. And it didn't take a genius to figure out their grandparenting blueprint. It was all about always showing grandkids how much they were loved, paying attention to little things, and being generous with their hugs and time. (OK, and slipping the kids some spendable green stuff when they got older.) Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

That's pretty much all you need to know about how to be a grandparent. I know. Because I got to study two of the best for years.