Outrageous parenting styles have gotten out of hand. I know I'm a Grand and have outgrown my right to have any say in the business, but sheesh! Tiger Moms? Helicopter Parents? Attachment Parenting? Hot-saucing? Really?
Really? Does everything have to be so extreme, even child-rearing?
Well, at the risk of being labeled an old fuddy-duddy, here's my two-cents' worth. I call it Pragmatic Parenting.
The Pragmatic Parent has three goals:
- Keep the child safe and healthy.
- Raise a person who can function emotionally, intellectually, culturally, and creatively in the wider world and within the family.
- Build a relationship of love, trust, and respect, while teaching personal responsibility (actions have consequences) and independence.
Now, there is no one bright and shining way of achieving the Pragmatic Parent goals. You may need a little Tiger Mom one minute, Attachment Parent the next, and a full-range of other styles - often made up on the spot - throughout any given day. Hence the word "pragmatic." (But NEVER hot-saucing! Never.) And you know what? Sometimes (many times) you're going to mess up. Welcome to life on earth.
I realize that good old-fashioned common sense is out of favor right now. And let's face it, common sense does seem to be in short supply, from government to banking to education to walking on a crowded sidewalk. However. If you find yourself running low on common sense, just keep repeating the three goals of the Pragmatic Parent. I really believe you'll figure it out.
And if your kid has a gift for playing the guitar and not the piano or violin, if s/he wants to go to a slumber party, or if you need to use a stroller, well, darn it, go with it. I don't see any of those things breaking the rules of practicality or causing the downfall of civilization.
Now, give that sweet baby/child/teen a hug. Or send 'em to their rooms. Whatever makes the most sense right now.
1 comment:
I have to agree with you! I will never forget picking up Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care and reading, "Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do." Just reading those words gave me such confidence that I could make the right decisions for my children.
Of course, we don't ignore science. If the docs now say don't let babies sleep on their stomachs because of the risk of SDS, we follow what the docs say. Parents and grandparents may know more than they think they do, but they don't know it all.
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